Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Stop smelling like warm garbage or dried Elmer's Glue with Doc Bottoms' new Aspray. You can use Aspray on your "pungent pits, foul feet, or beastly butt odor." (exact wording - no lie) This miracle product apparently eliminates odor-causing bacteria ... that you deem inappropriate to actually wash off with a simple shower. Really, who has time to shower these days? Why shower at all when you can drench every crevice of your body with Aspray? Accidentally shart your pants? Break out the Aspray! Did you have relations with a brothel bunny and forget to shower? Break out the Aspray!
Don't act like it's never happened to you. Bras get frozen, dudes get phones shoved in orifices and the permanent markers come out. Holy Taco has posted a hilarious gallery of drunken shaming photos. Enjoy the rest of them here.
If you live in a questionable neighborhood or have curious children in the house, this bed may be your savior. The BedBunker is basically a 1,300 lb. strongbox made of 10-gauge steel designed to replace the box spring under a twin, queen or king size mattress. This treasure chest is fireproof up to 1,533 degrees based on their testing, which should make it ideal for protecting important documents, jewelry and "other valuables" (read: porn and/or secret cross-dressing accoutrements), but the company has instead positioned it as an effective way to protect your vast collection of firearms, up to 32 rifles or 70 hand guns. Because most Americans have well over 32 rifles on hand and can't seem to find the storage space. You can purchase one of these bad boys from $2,200 to $4,000 depending on bed size.
I pity the cat burgler who stumbles upon the homeowner with one of these. *click click* thug liiiiiife ...
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Let me just preface this post with this: Drinking and driving is bad. It kills. Don't do it.
Monday, July 27, 2009
I'm loving this Bento Box USB drive. It's 2GB of Bento beauty. Which is making me salivate as of late. I want it. And food. STAT.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Looks very Tim Burton-esque. Creepy + Helena Bonham Carter = NAILED IT!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
- Mitsubishi's new electric car (source)
- 3 bed/2 bath house (source)
- A kidney (source)
- Daewoo's new roadster (source)
- A top-notch bull (source)
- 1,883 pairs of Truck Nutz for your friends and entire family (source)
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Pipes + hot = Jessie Cornish, a soon-to-be YouTube phenomenon. Just as Marie Digby got her big break via the YouTube-o-sphere, I'm sure this gal is well on her way to a record contract. She's got the raspy sound of Amy Winehouse (sans wig-o-crack), with a little sprinkling of Lady Gaga's style and Adele's unique sound. Now stir in the gravitas of Rihanna with a darling British accent. That's Jessie Cornish.
Forget hummingbirds or flowers or sponged apples and berries - this new wallpaper will rock your farging world. You heard me. This new wallpaper has precision, balance and a hankering to beat some chintzy wallpaper ass. I give you ... sumo wrestler wallpaper. Buy it for instant manification™.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
- Brilliant metaphors
- Power Ranger movements
- Sword attachments for arms
- Is a nesting doll for Sporty Geisha
- Is part Raiden (think Mortal Combat)
- Can dance with the Pussy Cat Dolls
- Is part chainsaw
- Is part transformer (into a goddam TANK)
- Actually fights Raiden
- Can stab out your eyes with various objects, including FRIED SHRIMP (no lie)
- Can turn into Geish-illa and stomp out cities
- Has a "handicap gun" (dead serious)
- Has a machine gun that shoots out of her arse
- Has a sword that shoots out of her arse
- Has a rocket torso
- An ominous voiceover
- Movie turns into platform for Mario Kart.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
A gelato ad showing a priest and a nun about to hook up has been banned in the UK after readers complained, the Daily Telegraph reports. The ad intended to sell "forbidden Italian temptations." Yep, looks like they accomplished that. The ad was placed in various magazines, which was intended to target an audience aged between 25-55. The gelato, Antonio Federici, said their ad was meant to be a "light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek portrayal."
Tongue-in-cheek: Check. (They are about to make out.)
Light hearted: Check. (I mean, come on. A hot Italian priest getting to first base with a nun who happened to have her makeup done at the MAC counter at Macy's ... HILARIOUS. And light hearted.)
Does this ad cross the line?
Get ready to look dorktastic in this new Solar Vest created by Chinavision. Sporting seven different device connectors and eight different power connectors, this vest uses the rays of the sun to charge a variety of gadgets, such as iPods, phones, pagers (?), etc.
Here are the specs:
- Gargantuan white letters that read: SOLAR VEST
- 8,800mAh Capacity
- 4 Solar Panels
- Multiple Connectors
- Canvas Vest
- 5V, 6V, 9V, 12-20V Output
If I actually saw someone wearing this on the street I would
laugh and point and take iPhone pictures think, "Wow, how innovative." Buy this piece of geek badassery for $140.
This would be perfect for charging your iPod while fly fishing. Because nobody would actually see you wearing this vest.