Monday, August 31, 2009

That is One Ugly Tattoo

Something tells me that I'd fail a Rorschach test miserably. Is it just me, or does this tattoo of "Courtney" seem to have a dude's package on her forehead? I'm all for photorealistic tattoos, but for the love all things Benjamin Button, get a damn good tattoo artist if you're planning to have a face inked on your body for the rest of eternity.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Hey, I like Jason Mraz, too but ...

I wouldn't have the vacant expression from his CD cover tattooed on my back for eternity.

Today's WTF: The Snuggie

For those of you loyal Snuggie owners or Snuggie Sapiens™, as I like to call you, there is a new online guide to having relations while including your now iconic blanket robe. You can check out the Snuggie Sutra HERE.

I'm not sure if the creators of the Snuggie Sutra site know this, but the target demo for Snuggie consumers is something like 45-65 year-old librarians who utilize book lights and watch reruns of Murder She Wrote. But I'm sure they'll be all over this new Snuggie resource though. Especially if they find themselves in the throes ... with a Snuggie on hand ... while taking the subway or relaxing on a park bench. Knowledge is power. And possibly a misdemeanor.

100 Years of Special Effects in 5 minutes

I'm a little surprised that there aren't more horror movie special effects included in this clip. I guess you see one head torture contraption crush a skull, you've seen them all.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Insert Obvious Tea Bag Joke Here.

I really couldn't think of a better way to defecate all over the memory of Princess Di then to create a tea bag in her likeness. The other three douches I couldn't care less about.

Dexter Season 4: Pre-air Leak of Episode 1!

Those of you rowdy Dexter fans out there - hold on to your butts.

Apparently, Dexer's first episode of Season 4, "Living the Dream," has been leaked online. Scheduled to air on September 27 on Showtime, this premiere episode was posted online a few days ago for only a few hours before Showtime caught on and had it pulled from the Net. Wow, did I really use the term, "Net?" Hello, 1993!

Showtime may have pulled the original posting, but not before 2,000 torrent users had a chance to make it their own and seed it online. There's no telling how long it will stay posted - but you can watch the full first episode of Season 4 here or here. Enjoy.

You'll especially enjoy the fun 'pseudo opening'.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Celebribabies: Classic.

Photoshop + babies = celebribabies. My fave, even though I hate those douchetards, is the Jonas Brothers pic. Here you'll see baby Kurt Cobain, baby Tony Soprano, baby Jackie Chan, Baby Conan O'Brien, and baby Jonas Brothers.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Today's WTF: Catching a Laptop in the Holiest of Holies

Oh. My. Gawd.

Did they really think this was going to sell more laptops?

I'll Take Ten: Brain Cupcakes

Bite into these brains and taste the viscous goodness of red velvet raspberry cake with French vanilla cream cheese frosting and the best cupcake topper ever - a chocolate brain.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

WTF of the Day - Billy Mays Tattoo

I'm pretty sure drugs were somehow involved in the creation and application of this WTFtastic tattoo.

iPhone Sleeve: Emo-licious

All this iPhone sleeve needs is a pair of women's skinny jeans, some guyliner, and the sweet embrace of teen angst - then the package shall be complete.

Buy this iPhone hoodie from Urban Outfitters for $18.

Because I Want My Kids to Slap Some Bitches and Jock Some Hos

Parents beware: These Bling Teeth are merely gateway Hip Hop items. Once they've experienced the krunk thrill of Bling Teeth, they'll feel compelled to create beefs with the east coast, drink Cristal out of pimp cups, and sock the sh*t out of their R&B girlfriends in the car.

But hey, for 75 cents, why not? Even Lil Wayne had to start somewhere.

Just Cruel!

Have you ever heard a German shepherd scream at 10,000 feet?

Thanks to MD for sending this over.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Because Animals Eat Protein Too

Another 3D Mousepad: Wrist Action To Follow

This is another jem created by the Sir Mix-A-Lot mousepad line. She's ergonomically stacked and ready to audition for Tron 4, from the looks of it. This will keep your wrist "busy." (Oh please, I meant "surfing the web and writing proposals for work.")

This busty beauty can be yours here for a ridiculous $50 or get a lap dance at the Spearmint Rhino instead.

The Gods Have Given Us a Gift

And that gift is the automatic pancake machine called the Chefstack Pancake Maker. Don't just have a few flapjacks for breakfast, have 200 carb cakes a goddam hour. If only they could do something like this for bacon. Bastards ...

You can purchase this device from or here for a measly $3,500.

Yes, my friends. Gluttony doesn't come cheap. Remember that.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Viral Flashback: Scare Tactics

If you haven't experienced the utter hilarity that is Scare Tactics, shown on SyFy, you haven't lived. This show combines pure visceral fear with humiliation and bad acting. In short, it's Punk'd slathered with
fear. The two episodes I'd like to wax nostalgic about are "Rat Boy" and "The Hitchhiker."

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Kiss me, I Taste Like Bacon

Clearly, the concept here is this.
  1. Take a product - any product.
  2. Make it bacon flavored.
  3. SOLD.
Buy this bacon balm here.

Oh how I Wish Money Sprung out of This Ottoman

This is a classic piece of furniture for those obsessed with the world of the Super Mario Brothers: A coin block ottoman for the committed video game geek. This flashback measures 15x15x15 inches and is made from memory foam, vinyl, and the hundreds of hours you spent trying to get through level 8 in 1992. Purchase it here.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Yum: MacBook Pro Cake of My Dreams

Check out the amazing detail on this cake. Everything is edible - including the syncing iPhone. Brilliant. And edible. This was created by BCake, a high-end cakery in New York.

Bust it: A Contemporary Way to Walk Down The Aisle

My sister is getting married in December and I'm trying to talk her into something like this.

Realization: Polyester + breaking it down = BO-fest 2009