Tuesday, June 30, 2009

You Might Pee Your Pants: Animals with Lightsabers

I never thought I'd see the day when animals wielded light sabers. That day is here. And it's freaking hilarious. See several more here.

Cuddle with the Sarlacc Pit Monster Pillow

Behold one of the greatest Star Wars crafts ever stitched: the Sarlacc "Pitlow."

Modeled after the evil Sarlacc Pit Monster which inhabits the Great Pit of Carkoon, over in the desert on planet Tatooine, this pillow serves as a reminder of that disgusting sand sphincter (with teeth and tentacles) that tried to gulp Luke, Han and Chewy after Jabba ordered them to 'walk the plank.'

This is the cute and cuddly version of that monster. Perfect for a crib or child's bed.

Cool iPhone Case: Zoom or Fisheye Lens Attachments

Interested in taking some different pics with your iPhone? Perhaps you want to take better photographs at your nudist colony? Or friends setting their butts on fire with a Whistling Pete on the 4th of July? Factron lets you attach a fisheye, superwide or zoom lens to your iPhone. The case is available for around $200 and the lens are available from between $18 and $55. Zoom away.

Misspelled Tattoos: Get a Damn Dictionary Already

Seriously? Only God will juge you? We'll you'll get juged every time you take your shirt off, yo. The "Chi-tonw" guy actually sued his tattoo parlor for their mistake.

Enjoy more misspelled tats here.

Source: Oddee

Today's FAIL: Grocery Aisle Sign

I was wondering which aisle those were in.

Source: Failblog

Today's WTF: Unknown Sewer Creature Found

Holy moses on a see-saw. Get ready to watch a new 'life form' pulsate against the wall of a Raleigh, North Carolina sewer. Allegedly, this video captures footage of the raw meatball/live dookie/animated teste breathing and reacting to the bright light from the camera.

Perhaps this is how the Ninja Turtles started out? And I shall dub this pulsating, bulbous uvula ... Botticelli.

Hopefully you're not eating raw meat while watching this appetizing footage.

Smurf Movie: Let's Smurf the Smurf Smurfily

Break out your Smurf costumes, folks. The Smurf Movie, which will be a live-action flick (ala Alvin and the Chipmunks), will be in theaters December 17, 2010. Mark it on your iCal - you know you're going to shed a nostalgic tear. A blue one. That paints or looks in the mirror a lot.

Photo: Here

Stripper Alarm Clock: Go to Sleep with One Dollar Bills and Wake Up Happy

Best. Clock. Ever.

And don't ever buy this for your dad for Father's Day. That is unless you're planning on buying your mom a Rabbit Pearl Alarm Clock. (No idea to which rabbit I am referring? Google it.)

You can buy this classy jem HERE for $26.99.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland - New Images

Here we have new images from Tim Burton's new Alice in Wonderland. You'll see Mia Wasikowska as Alice (early rendering), Johnny Depp playing Elijah Wood playing the Mad Hatter, Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen of Hearts, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, Matt Lucas playing Jay Leno's offspring playing Tweedledee and Tweedledum - and a few screen shots of gardens and such. And several Tim Burton-esque gates. I'm not really sure what to expect with this movie just yet. I'll wait for the first trailer.

Today's WHY GOD WHY: The Coconut Crab

How would you like to wake up to something tickling your nose and find this pleasant creature spooning you gently?

This is a REAL animal, folks. But you're safe from this cousin of the hermit crab if you don't live in the Pacific Island Chain of The Northern Mariana Islands, the Line Islands or the American Samoa Islands. So sleep easy for now.

Learn more about these freaks of nature HERE. And see one in action HERE.

RIP Billy Mays

OxiClean spokesman Billy Mays was found dead in his Tampa home this morning. Reports are saying he suffered a head injury during a flight landing yesterday, which the FAA is saying was his fault for not wearing a seat belt. TMZ reports:

"After the flight, Billy told FOX 13 in Tampa that something struck him in the head -- here's Billy's actual quote: 'All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping. It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head.' "We called the FAA for comment, and a spokesperson told us, "The passenger needs to wear a seat belt during landing and he didn't."

Lesson #1: Always buckle up.

Lesson #2: Always use OxiClean to get out tough stains.

RIP Billy Mays.

iPhone 3GS Dropped in Pool - Continued to Record

This guy had to learn the hard way to always handle expensive pieces of machinery carefully when walking or filming near swimming pools (Note: Do the same around ocean tide pools, large mugs of beer, toilets and bowls of soup.)

Here's a rough account of what was being said while filming:
Oh look, there's Sophie and Molly ... check out Bob floating around ... and there's Chuck with his floaty toy .. and there's HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF GOD NOOOOOoooooooo!!! -SPLASH-
After he dropped his iPhone in the pool, the phone continues to film! With splashing sounds and everything! It continues to film until the dude dives in to retrieves it. You actually hear him say, "It's still recording!" And apparently it worked long enough for him to download it to the internet. Check out the underwater video below:

Source: Engadget

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Creative Motorcycle Helmets

Enjoy one of the latest trends in motorcycle helmets - creative paint designs. I would like to see one painted with the "Here's Johnny!" Jack Nicholson face peeking through the axed door. Now THAT would scare the bejesus out of me if I saw that in the rear view.

Enjoy several more HERE.

The Misfortunate Make Me Laugh: Ducks on an Escalator

The poor little guys must have gotten lost looking for the Sharper Image.

PS. this could be a great sequel to Snakes on a Plane.

GREAT Idea for your iPhone

This guy decided to make custom icons for his iPhone starring who else? Himself! His facial expression kills me. I'd have to say that Weather and Safari are my favorites.

Celebrate The Fallen with These

These cufflinks rock. And they match with this USBformer. I believe that's creates the trifecta of badassery. Buy these little guys at Etsy for $20. Not a bad price for instant manhood.

Toilet of Your Dreams

This photo reminds me of that episode of Scrubs where Janitor built the roof toilet. Methinks the roof toilet is way cooler. Reasons to not have a countryside toilet:
  1. Wandering wildlife: Not sure I'd be okay with deer or ground squirrels coming up to me while on the can.
  2. Wandering girlscout troupes: "Now kids, look at the moose over by the ... oh sweet jesus, LOOKAWAY CHILDREN! LOOKAWAY!" (Not even Brad Pitt looks good sitting on the throne.)
  3. Paper needs: There doesn't seem to be a cabinet of extra TP in the vicinity. Unless you don't mind wiping with a sliver of granite.
Source: Here

Friday, June 26, 2009

Master Chief Senior Portraits

Halo fanatics unite and prepare to tear up. Pwn or Die has posted some would-be senior portraits of the badass Master Chief. Had he really gone through high school, I'm sure he would have been the big man on campus - plasma granading dudes for their lunch money.

Hmm, What Are They Really Saying?

Leave it to Burger King to bring you 1) the creepiest food mascot on earth and 2) the most overtly sexual ads next to Tom Ford fragrances and Absolute Vodka. Really, what are we to think of the "BK Super Seven Incher?" Besides Betty on the left looking like a blow-up doll, this is fairly out-of-hand for Burger King. In fact, why don't they just rename this bad boy the "BJ Super Seven Incher?"

ps. Wonder who their target demo is? Hmmm. (35- to 45-year-old widows, perhaps?)

Chili Grenades Being Manufactured in India

India's Defense Research and Development Organization has plans to start manufacturing hot chili grenades. You read that correctly, my friend. Hot chili grenades on deck. BBC News reports:

... the devices will be used to control rioters and in counter-insurgency operations. The chili, known as Bhut Jolokia, is said to be 1,000 times hotter than commonly used kitchen chili.

Hey, I say cool. While you're at it, could you explode one of those bad boys over my slice of pepperoni with extra cheese over here? Maybe follow that up with a parmesan grenade using cheese that is 1,000 times more cheesier than the basic household parmesan cheese? Thaaaaaaaaanks.

ps. It's called a bhut chili. Beavis would go into a laugh coma right about now.

Source VIA Geekologie

Oh Hell Naw: iPhone 3GS Prone to Overheating/Discoloration in White Models

Just an FYI for you white iPhone owners out there: Engadget.com is reporting that the new iPhone 3GS has been overheating for some folks, turning the case of white iPhones into a pinkish-brown to brown color. The user of the iPhone pictured above claimed to be using the GPS/3G elements of the phone when this happened.

Either that, or somebody dropped the phone in the toilet after a twosy. Big no no.



Source: Engadget

RIP Michael Jackson

I'm a day late with this shout out, but rest in piece, smooth criminal.

Here's a little homage by little Jamia Simone Nash.

Almost Just as Good

Did they just go to Thesarus.com or what? Get some American writers up in there already.