Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
OxiClean spokesman Billy Mays was found dead in his Tampa home this morning. Reports are saying he suffered a head injury during a flight landing yesterday, which the FAA is saying was his fault for not wearing a seat belt. TMZ reports:
"After the flight, Billy told FOX 13 in Tampa that something struck him in the head -- here's Billy's actual quote: 'All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping. It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head.' "We called the FAA for comment, and a spokesperson told us, "The passenger needs to wear a seat belt during landing and he didn't."
Lesson #1: Always buckle up.
Lesson #2: Always use OxiClean to get out tough stains.
Oh look, there's Sophie and Molly ... check out Bob floating around ... and there's Chuck with his floaty toy .. and there's HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF GOD NOOOOOoooooooo!!! -SPLASH-
Saturday, June 27, 2009
- Wandering wildlife: Not sure I'd be okay with deer or ground squirrels coming up to me while on the can.
- Wandering girlscout troupes: "Now kids, look at the moose over by the ... oh sweet jesus, LOOKAWAY CHILDREN! LOOKAWAY!" (Not even Brad Pitt looks good sitting on the throne.)
- Paper needs: There doesn't seem to be a cabinet of extra TP in the vicinity. Unless you don't mind wiping with a sliver of granite.
Friday, June 26, 2009
India's Defense Research and Development Organization has plans to start manufacturing hot chili grenades. You read that correctly, my friend. Hot chili grenades on deck. BBC News reports:
... the devices will be used to control rioters and in counter-insurgency operations. The chili, known as Bhut Jolokia, is said to be 1,000 times hotter than commonly used kitchen chili.
Hey, I say cool. While you're at it, could you explode one of those bad boys over my slice of pepperoni with extra cheese over here? Maybe follow that up with a parmesan grenade using cheese that is 1,000 times more cheesier than the basic household parmesan cheese? Thaaaaaaaaanks.
ps. It's called a bhut chili. Beavis would go into a laugh coma right about now.