Friday, January 22, 2010

ARRRGGHHHHHH!: Body mods make my stomach churn.

I'm loving this new trend in face modifications ... like I love enemas with habanero salsa. For the love of all that is holy WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FACE? The Pyrex plug inserted in this person's lip...

...presumably refraction of transmitted light explains the visualization of both top and bottom teeth through the plug.

Imagine how entertaining it would be to insert a few more Pyrex plugs in this person's mouth and watch her/him eat a roast beef sandwich!

I just held back some vomit. And if I had a lip window, you would have totally noticed.

Source VIA Geekologie

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Stop Sign Graffiti: STOP. Hammertime.

These are classic. I'd have to say my favorite involves The Dark Lord.

Just in time for Valentine's Day: 7-foot-tall Garbarge Pail wall graphics!

Happy Valentine's, honey! Here's a 7-foot-tall Over Flo (in the diaper above) Garbage Pail Kid print for our living room!

I could actually picture a few of these in a conference room in some creative department of some ad agency abroad, but that's about it. I couldn't even picture these on the wall in a kid's room for some reason. (And I used to collect these bad boys in the mid 80s.) Here's a quote from the press release announcing the release the classic gross out collectibles:

LTL PRINTS, the premium wall graphics company, today launched an exclusive collection of Garbage Pail Kids Wall Graphics, featuring 77 original designs from the classic collectible trading cards produced by the Topps Company beginning in 1985.

Garbage Pail Kids premium wall graphics from LTL PRINTS are available in a range of customer-selected sizes (from laptop-sized up to seven feet tall!), are self-adhesive and will stick to almost anything (walls, windows, even ceilings!), and can be removed and re-hung 100 times without leaving a mark or damaging surfaces.

Prices start at $14.95 for laptop-sized graphics (NEW!), to LTL PRINTS’ signature 7 foot tall ‘larger-than-lifesize’ wall graphics, for $149.95.

Nothin' says lovin' like Armpit Britt (also pictured above).


This is a great commerical just because it cracks me up.

Fresh Balls: So fresh. So Clean. So outta goddam hand.

Heeey boys! Do you ever have problems with crotch rot? Are your testes testing your olfactory system? Are you nutty about clean nads? Do you have to teabag a warm bowl of eucalyptus oils just to get a date? Well the answer to your question has arrived, my friends. Introducing Fresh Balls.
Finally, the solution to a problem men have suffered with for generations. All men sweat in their groin area, and until now, there has not been a product specifically to relieve the wetness and the uncomfortable feeling of sweaty balls.

Fresh Balls is Aluminum Free, Paraben Free, and Talc Free, and contains Oatmeal as an anti-irritant and Tea Tree Oil – so it’s anti-bacterial.

Fresh Balls is not available in stores, only through this website. It comes in a small gray tube, perfect for at home, or on-the-go.

Ladies, you know you're waiting for Fresh Underboobage™ products. What about a little sumpin sumpin to freshen up ye olde underbottom? Fresh Balls needs to branch out! They could begin slow world domination one ripe body part at a time!

Or how about this? I have an idea. How about we all shower regularly with soap and water and call it a day? In this economy, why spend $14.99 on ball deodorant? Really people. Economize already.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Just Because: Come to Snoop, my Preshizzle


Craigslist: Not just for selling random crap anymore.

Now people are using Craigslist to settle their beefs. (Or effects of beef. Heh.) To see the larger version of this, click here.

All sorts of cool: Atari Pint Glasses

The chicks will wind sprint to your front door after you buy these badass Atari-themed pint glasses. Nooch. (Don't front, you know you're going to drink milk out of these.)

They're just so cute: Shiba Inu Puppy Livestream

Need a little 'cute' in your life? Click HERE to see a live stream of little puppies all day long. I've been visiting these little guys every day since they were born! Because I have no life! I'm gonna go get drunk now!

Today's WTF: Prevent Crack Lines

I don't know what's more disturbing; the fact that I can see 'taint hair' on this product model or that any person with a spool of thread can prevent White Crack™ when tanning nude on the beach. I'm talking to you, porn stars and Spanish neighbor next door.

I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing the instructions for this product include:
  • Do not use if overcome with explosive diarrhea;
  • Do not use if planning to sleep on the beach; and
  • Do not use around hungry birds or red ants.

This scares me to death.

Clearly, the parents of these two freakish-looking, 40-year-old pageant children are leaving huge FAIL piles in their wake.

Monday, January 18, 2010

A Few Spectacularly Awesome Game Signs

My favorite would be the "murkin" sign. See the rest here.

I'll pass, but thanks.

I'll be sticking to the hair products NOT made of innards/afterbirth.

Source: Holy Taco

Really Bad Ads: Caribu Bitter Chocolate

Wow. The creative geniuses at Caribu Bitter Chocolate really know how to get an appetite going.

The headline in the corner of each ad reads: The Dark Side of Sweetness - Caribu Bitter Dark Chocolate. (to see hi-res versions, click here and here.)

Nothing like grinded up baby chick carcass to make me crave some dark chocolate. Way to go creative team. I have a feeling you'll be hiring soon. Call me.

Source: Copyranter

Graffiti rocks. Deal with it.

These are just of few of the jems posted by Holy Taco. Enjoy the rest of them here.

Source: Holy Taco