Thursday, July 2, 2009

Today's WTF: Robo Geisha The Movie

Why. Oh. Why.

Supposedly there's a movie in the works called Robo Geisha. Starring a geisha. With robotic qualities. Because why not? We've had Robo Cop? And remember D. A. R. Y. L.? Why not combine two completely different worlds to make the most mystifying B-level horror movie in the history of B-level horror movies?

What would said "Robo Geisha" do besides enchant tea house audiences with music and dance? Glad you asked. Here are a few of the random occurrences that you see in the colorful, long trailer below:
  • Brilliant metaphors
  • Power Ranger movements
  • Sword attachments for arms
  • Is a nesting doll for Sporty Geisha
  • Is part Raiden (think Mortal Combat)
  • Can dance with the Pussy Cat Dolls
  • Is part chainsaw
  • Is part transformer (into a goddam TANK)
  • Actually fights Raiden
  • Can stab out your eyes with various objects, including FRIED SHRIMP (no lie)
  • Can turn into Geish-illa and stomp out cities
  • Has a "handicap gun" (dead serious)
  • Has a machine gun that shoots out of her arse
  • Has a sword that shoots out of her arse
  • Has a rocket torso
  • An ominous voiceover
  • Movie turns into platform for Mario Kart.
With that, enjoy the trailer here. Then you can seek out a lobotomy to erase the ridiculosity.

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