Why. Oh. Why.
Supposedly there's a movie in the works called Robo Geisha. Starring a geisha. With robotic qualities. Because why not? We've had Robo Cop? And remember D. A. R. Y. L.? Why not combine two completely different worlds to make the most mystifying B-level horror movie in the history of B-level horror movies?
What would said "Robo Geisha" do besides enchant tea house audiences with music and dance? Glad you asked. Here are a few of the random occurrences that you see in the colorful, long trailer below:
- Brilliant metaphors
- Power Ranger movements
- Sword attachments for arms
- Is a nesting doll for Sporty Geisha
- Is part Raiden (think Mortal Combat)
- Can dance with the Pussy Cat Dolls
- Is part chainsaw
- Is part transformer (into a goddam TANK)
- Actually fights Raiden
- Can stab out your eyes with various objects, including FRIED SHRIMP (no lie)
- Can turn into Geish-illa and stomp out cities
- Has a "handicap gun" (dead serious)
- Has a machine gun that shoots out of her arse
- Has a sword that shoots out of her arse
- Has a rocket torso
- An ominous voiceover
- Movie turns into platform for Mario Kart.
With that, enjoy the trailer here. Then you can seek out a lobotomy to erase the ridiculosity.