Thursday, April 30, 2009

Today's WTF: The Cuchini

Not shocked by some of the innovations created for women today, I give you the Cuchini. This new bicycle-seat type contraption is used by women to reduce the unsightly display of camel toe. As described on their website:

The Cuchini is a comfortable, light-weight material that adheres to any undergarment (panties, bikini, sports attire, etc).  It smoothes the ridges of a woman’s mons pubis area providing a smooth and camouflaged appearance. This eliminates what is commonly known as "Camel Toe."

The Cuchini products are designed by women to provide comfort and convenience.

As we have evolved, hair down there is a thing of the past.  As the landing strip and Brazilian wax have become prominent in today's world, there is no bush for the cush.  And though Camel Toe may be a  hot topic... it's not to the gal sporting it!

Never did I think females would have to wear a cup; nor was I aware that the camel toe was on the rise once again. 

Three things bother me about this new 'product' - both of which have nothing to do with how much I hate the name. Maybe because I'm not crazy about its root word, cooch. They really could have gone with something a little more subtle, like Smooth Operator™ or Lip Service™. I would even prefer something like Camouflagina™. Cooch is such a bad colloquialism that it feels doubly ghetto after being merged with the name of an Italian composer. 
  1. Comfortability: Would this REALLY be comfortable to wear? Think about it. You're wearing a soft bikini at the beach or rubber catsuit during pre-coital role play and you slide in the Cuchini. (Just typing those words makes me ill.) How would it stay in place? If you twisted your body a certain way, would it poke out or god forbid fall out? Two-sided tape is great and all, but it's another accessory that you have to monitor while wearing. 
  2. Cleaning: The website informs you that you can wear this device with or without underwear. This leaves me to wonder - is it machine washable? There are hygiene issues at hand. Maybe they make disposable shower-cap type covers for it?
  3. Comic Sans: I absolutely hate this typeface and they use it on their entire website. I don't care if you're writing an email to your grandma, comic sans should never be used. Ever.
Verdict: I supposed if you had "The Toe" all the time, this would be a wise product in which to invest your $15. I just wish they would change their damn name.

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