Look What the Cat Dragged In

Holy Jebus in a wheel barrel. This lovely spring chicken looks like something that was pulled out of my Go with the Flo toilet. 

Bride of Chucky here was snapped going to the Sapphire Steakhouse and Gentleman's Club in New York City last night. Funny, seeing that she's an active member of Peta.

Anywho, someone get this woman a mirror, some blotting linens, a pint of spackle, a bar of Dove, and a hose - STAT.

Source: The Superficial

Photo: WENN

Please Don't GoGirl

Ladies, now you too can take whimsical pleasure in peeing your name in cursive on the snow or sidewalk with absolute precision! 

I give you the GoGirl. As made clear on their website:

Simply put, GoGirl is the way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant or non-existent bathrooms. It’s a female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to urinate while standing up. It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic. 

Apparently, it's disposable or you can rinse it and put it back in your purse. (!?) I'm not sure how I feel about putting a pee funnel, rinsed with Chevron bathroom soap or not, back in my purse. Something tells me (like Staph infection) that doing this doesn't fall on the sanitary side of storage. The website also explains that this device is 'germ resistant,' but I can't help from wondering if my purse is going to smell like poached talapia on a balmy day if I rinse and return back to my purse. 

If you're inclined to purchase and utilize a device such as this, something tells me that you won't be located near the appropriate facilities to 'rinse' it unless you sacrifice your $5 bottle of Fiji to do so. And each of these pee funnels or punnels™, if you will, only cost $4.99 each.  

ps. cool logo, though.

Source: GoGirl

Throw Acid in my Eyes Please

An open letter to Pamela Anderson:

Dear Pam, (Can I call you Pam?)

Why? Why, Pamela Anderson, do you have to keep showing up at random events nude with a birthday cake or partially nude in gaudy, unflattering bedazzled fabrics? Are you testing our gag reflexes? Because mine works, thanks to this parade of old flesh at the Richie Rich's fashion show last night. I'd rather squeeze a lemon in my wide-open eyeball (and I love lemons - I would NEVER waste a lemon) than lay my eyes on another exhibition of jiggly outdated flesh like this again. You are done. New, more taut ass has replaced you in the celebrity nude exhibition category. We now have new up-and-comers like Audrina Patridge, Katy Perry and even old-ass Jennifer Aniston. Let's give them some room to do their thing. It's time to hang up the tattered thong, Pam. Put down that charcoal briquette you call 'eyeliner' and do something a little more meaningful. I don't mean teaming with PETA, either. Maybe you should take up scrapbooking or mentoring other tranny over-bronzered ho's. I mean, really. I would have enjoyed watching Bea Arthur shimmy up and down that runway last night. Because she's got flare - and the boots to match.

Wrap. It. up. 

XOXO & KIT, 

Mickey Doyle

Photos: Getty, WENN